As days pass it's becoming quite a challenge,
to face the fact I don't have the power to know how my body and mind will react to life.
Or what new things I have to take and try,
the old things I'm told to stop.
Attempting hour after hour,
to not be pessimistic.
God's been minimally testing me,
and in multiple ways I feel completely honored that He sees me strong enough to face these trials.
I'm becoming independent of material things (which I was never really into in the first place),
and starting to be dependant on His love.
We must be thankful, no matter the level of stress in our lives.
And I must say I feel decently stressed, whether or not it's under my control.
I'll come out of this, whatever this is, and be new
For right now,
I'm thankful that He's given me silence
and separation from things around me that I've relied on lately.
So I can hear what He has to say.
And silence is not being quiet.
Silence is a pausing moment when you learn the truth behind the freeze frames.
"What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?" (1 Corinthians 4:7)
"We are fools for Christ, but you are so wise in Christ." (1 Corinthians 4:10)
I can't afford to sit here and ignore God or try to cover up my belief, because He is getting me through. It upsets me when I find myself slipping and doubting His power, when Christ is the mightiest and highest over anything, anyone, myself, my wants, my needs, the earth, the universe.
And then God's been speaking to me through this:
"For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power." (1 Corinthians 4:20)
God is most visible through action.
I can no longer talk more than walk, I must do the opposite. How do I feel I should act? With more generosity, respect, kindness, concern, and belief. All at once not putting myself above anyone else, but promoting my confidence in the faith of God, keeping my self confidence from overflowing.
Lord is above all, and He is asking me to not doubt Him to others or to myself.
Whenever I do find myself not feeling His power, I think of the sun.
Have you ever realized the intensity of the sun?
Well....God created it.
That humongous, bursting bulb of energy.
And without the sun, there'd be no biological life!
So think about it...
If God could make that with His hands,
then He can fix anything in our lives with not even a thumbnail!