Saturday, February 14, 2009


As days pass it's becoming quite a challenge,
to face the fact I don't have the power to know how my body and mind will react to life.

Or what new things I have to take and try,
the old things I'm told to stop.

Attempting hour after hour,
to not be pessimistic.

God's been minimally testing me,
and in multiple ways I feel completely honored that He sees me strong enough to face these trials.

I'm becoming independent of material things (which I was never really into in the first place),
and starting to be dependant on His love.

We must be thankful, no matter the level of stress in our lives.
And I must say I feel decently stressed, whether or not it's under my control.
I'll come out of this, whatever this is, and be new

For right now,
I'm thankful that He's given me silence

and separation from things around me that I've relied on lately.

So I can hear what He has to say.

And silence is not being quiet.
Silence is a pausing moment when you learn the truth behind the freeze frames.

"What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?" (1 Corinthians 4:7)

"We are fools for Christ, but you are so wise in Christ." (1 Corinthians 4:10)

I can't afford to sit here and ignore God or try to cover up my belief, because He is getting me through. It upsets me when I find myself slipping and doubting His power, when Christ is the mightiest and highest over anything, anyone, myself, my wants, my needs, the earth, the universe.

And then God's been speaking to me through this:

"For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power." (1 Corinthians 4:20)

God is most visible through action.

I can no longer talk more than walk, I must do the opposite. How do I feel I should act? With more generosity, respect, kindness, concern, and belief. All at once not putting myself above anyone else, but promoting my confidence in the faith of God, keeping my self confidence from overflowing.

Lord is above all, and He is asking me to not doubt Him to others or to myself.

Whenever I do find myself not feeling His power, I think of the sun.

Have you ever realized the intensity of the sun?

Well....God created it.

That humongous, bursting bulb of energy.

And without the sun, there'd be no biological life!

So think about it...
If God could make that with His hands,
then He can fix anything in our lives with not even a thumbnail!


timjamz said...

Jenn, you said:

"I can no longer talk more than walk, I must do the opposite. How do I feel I should act? With more generosity, respect, kindness, concern, and belief. All at once not putting myself above anyone else, but promoting my confidence in the faith of God, keeping my self confidence from overflowing."

We human beings all go through these stages of self-realization, and then struggle how to see how "me" fits into the bigger picture of "us." You're right. You need to be sure of yourself and what you know to be true, and be humble enough to know that it will never be "perfect" -- I like to think of it as the perfection of imperfection. It is God's design, and if our focus is in real love in whatever we do, then we're on the right path and have much to be thankful for, even in our struggles.

I would say, keep looking in the direction you're looking, yet resist the "blinders" of zealotry. In learning to be like Christ, it's important to remember that he always expressed himself in an air of openness and humility -- sure of God living within him, yet humble enough to chill with vagrants, vagabonds, and other rejected types.

Ultimately, his path was easy and his burden light -- but it's a complex endeavor to match living his ways in this world. His execution should be a good reminder of how disjointed his path was in our material world... but still, the hope comes from fellowship with others who know God.

YesNoMaybeSo said...

Whoa thankyou so much for that comment! One thing I am very thankful for in this moment is the effect blogging and expressing myself has had on me through my pain and happiness! The fellow Christian writers, such as yourself, that I've discovered and discussed God with, have made me see that He is truly everywhere.

Finding ourselves in God takes a lot more commitment than we anticipate, or so I believe. Jesus Christ plants a seed of faith in us once we discover His existence within our hearts, and it takes both our willingness and God's supervision to tread the path of a Christian life. How far we choose to take it however, could be more up to us. God's right outside the door, but how much are we going to greet him, and see His face of light change our lives for good? This is what I struggle with, hesitation of more commitment.

The most impacting part of your response for me was how you encourage me to keep moving forward, but to not ignore certain types in the process. Funny how you say that, because that's exactly what I've forgotten lately- that Christ bonded with those in true need of Him, or those that were outcasted. I have friends that I've avoided lately (unfortunately) because I fear going into the same pit of destruction I was in during our friendship highs. But...maybe this is a calling and challenge? Maybe I can be a light in there life for coming out of the dark they still dwell in?

And you're correct- it's difficult to match His living ways in THIS world today. you think that Jesus might've had more sadness if His physical form walked on the earth today then he did thousands of years ago? His execution is increasingly becoming a more heavy thought to me as I'm letting go of some selfish habits. I'm sure this is also a more common situation for Christ followers. The subject becomes more personal and serious. I think sometimes people overlook the execution, and don't maintain the full reality of it. But perhaps the reality of His sacrifice for us cannot be totally held in understanding as human beings.

Once again tim, thankyou for replying to my post! I feel I can trust your advice and insight as we both experience our journeys as Christians.

Sykes Kid said...

"We are fools for Christ, but you are so wise in Christ." (1 Corinthians 4:10)"

AHHH i recently read this one and love it.

Lord, Dad, Father, He is SO SO SO WONDERFUL.

In Jesus name we are STRONG and only in HIS NAME! We have the CREATOR! :) of the world behind us!!!

my friend and i are working on a song together and the Lord spoke to us through the Holy Spirit and said "it's okay to be weak, because I'll give you strength."

i feel myself becoming more and more of a fool for Christ, it's taking me bit by bit, and it's not always easy... it should be because of what we are given, but i still lean on my own strength...

i pray for our generation to get rid of our own "strengths" and lean completely on the Lord, for this is the ONLY way we will be strong!!! In Him there is FREEDOM!! makes me want to run to a mountain and yell freedom and just hug the Lord haha :) man, what a beautiful beautiful maker!

love yah sis!
let's keep our gaze on Him!

ps: i think i'm gong to order the book

Beth said...

Great thoughts, Jenn. What a journey you are on....