Episode II

So...so....not too many entries this school year on here.

Good?

Sure.

Reading more, discovering more.

For example, Candide. At first read this satirical novel appeared to only serve the purpose of a political mockery relating to the time Voltaire had written it. But...no. NO! Voltaire asks "what is the balance between realism and optimism??" It had never dawned upon me until rereading the last phrase in the book, "cultivate our garden", that I saw that thinking too deeply is just as poisonous as perhaps not thinking at all. And so here I am, peering out my window of perception that is yet to creak open more and more with each day, yet only glancing momentarily then straining my sight. Either way, the peaceful balance we can accomplish as human beings is not visible. We were meant to just BE. When we can allow ourselves to be a part of the universal theory of concentrating on love rather than self benefit, peace will be granted.

Maybe, though, I am way over my head. But I like to think that all of these thoughts have a reason, but only if practiced, only if the theory is produced through lifestyle choices.

There are so many beautiful things in life, such as the ability to feel mentally and soulfully connected to art. The feeling generated in the heart by listening to music is an anomaly compared to any common emotion, because it is inexplicable.

What's even more rad, is how certain tools can enhance your musical experience.

Thank you, Ethereal Journey.

Last year Marissa lent me her Chuck Klosterman book IV. I had only read half of it last year, but two days ago I picked it up again and am almost completely done with it. Now I totally understand her love for this guy. He takes journalism to a completely different level, not to mention he's quite witty!

Much love to all!, Jenn

pshh

there's this thing called love.

It's the best thing in the world.

And we all want more of it.

And sometimes we don't want it at all...because we are aware of how much LOVE can tear us as much as it can bind us.

Then there's love for God that I have right now. The one thing I'm holding onto is His love by giving me music, for me to vent through.

blah blah

i'm wondering what i should do.

today at new harvest i was refreshened with the lesson of wrestling with God.

and I haven't wrestled. I've just pushed him away. Because I don't really want to talk to Him about the stuff I want to control. He is supposed to be my pilot, yet I'm treating Him like the co-pilot in all areas of my life.

And I'm fustrated with certain things...hmm...yeah quite a few. But I'm not going to post it on this blog. Cold weather always brings cold times in my life it seems. And it's freezing outside.

laa dee dahhh!

it's so pretty outside today.

really, really pretty.

and I'm happy.

Things have been going well. It's my senior year, and so it seems that everything feels more laid back, more comfortable.

so i see that a long of things are fake.

and a lot are real.

theres less to view

and more to feel.

the end.

I have strayed away. But am not lost.

I am in a new spectrum but still in love's grip.

and all the while I wonder,
where Jesus is
waiting
for me.

War

Human beings, we as ourselves, as the walking, breathing spectacle of spiritual intelligence, have a far way to go down. As in down, I mean reduction. The elimination of our selfish desires only brings us the joy of serving others, serving the Higher Power, and sticking to the senses of nature. Why do we instantly try to dive deeper within an emotion of happiness...sadness...greed...and then thrive upon its supply of reaction, the response of our own bodies that take these feelings and create an action.

So why have we tried to stray away from the fact that we, like the wilderness, are a part of it? If it were not for the cells that combine and divide in order to produce an infant, we wouldn't be here. The trees...if they were not present in our dark soil, then we couldn't breathe. And yet our wants to continue technological advancement is really out of protection rather than convienence. The world's people are competing amongst each other, where wealth and physical strength count most. Survival of the fittest, in a sardonic tone.

But why have we, as a "christian" nation, or a country that is supposed to represent freedom, peace, another chance, not grant that presentation to foreign countries? Is it really our government's right to call the shots on who to fight, who to kill. And kill we do. Well, it's not us at home comfortable with jobs, school, whatever it may be. Then it doesn't even come down to the individual when murder is placed on our name. But rather than label myself as an American, I think the only way to change the world's state is by the individual responsibility we all have. Although I am thankful for the protection and courtesy of our American Troops, I believe our nation as a whole does not understand the effect of sacrifice. Fighting never brings a positive connotation upon any being, any group of people. "MAKE ART NOT WAR" says the popular t-shirts hanging on a rack in your local wal-mart that was produced by a child working for five cents a week in an illegal factory in asia. There's so much greed, and so much shadowing of the truth of our violent acts, so we can keep supporting a war. I don't understand how fighting the terrorist group ENDS terrorism.

And that's the sacrifice. Would YOU be willing to put down a weapon, and surrender not specifically to the country, but to your own beliefs. Murder is wrong. When is it ever right? Honestly...when is murder everrrr right? When is it just? When is it acceptable in moral terms?

Bravery is shown by those who serve for our country. But there just has to be another way to solve the long lived problem (this problem that has been around since biblical times) of war. And I think that by stating I disagree with war, that is a start.